Loving the Families You Serve: Learning to Listen

One of the greatest skills in any relationship – parenting, marriage, friendship, and yes, in ministry – is learning to listen to the people closest to us!

That isn’t an easy task – but it is vital to showing families that we truly care.

How do we listen to the families we serve?

How do we really, truly hear them?

With so much busyness in ministry, listening requires a concerted effort. It requires us to actually think about the ways in which we will listen – and plan for them!

Here are some suggestions:

• Clear time in your calendar to listen! Do you have space carved out in your calendar to listen to people? Do you ever spend time with families? Meet with them? If you don’t, make time to in your calendar!
  
• Consider creating a family survey: Let families tell you what they really need by creating a survey: I’ve heard of ministry leaders doing this in all types of ways – yearly or more spontaneously, but it’s a great way to really hear what families have to say. It gives them opportunity to speak clearly & let you know what’s really going on in their lives! If you’d like a way to get started, check out your Family Ministry Survey!
  
• Ask families questions and listen to what they have to say: Take time to talk to key leaders, staff and parents in your church family. Listen closely – simply with the intent to HEAR, not to respond – as you ask questions like:
  – When did you start coming to this church? Why? What were your first impressions?
  – Tell me about your experience at this church. What has been your favourite part? What has been difficult?
  – Tell me what you know about why this church exists. Does it have a mission? A vision?
  – Are there many people in this church that are young? Children? What about senior adults?
  – What has the ministry to families and children been like in the past? What has worked well? What hasn’t?
  – What kind of reputation does this church have in our community? What do you think the church is known for?
  – Have you ever invited someone to come to church with you? How was their experience?
  
• Hear what people have to say, even if you don’t like it. Sometimes, parents will criticize or question what you have to say – and most of the time we don’t like to hear it. Yet, it is so incredibly important for us to listen, even when parents are criticizing what we are doing. Often (not always!), criticism comes when people are not having their needs met. When people disagree with you, ask yourself – “What can I learn from this? What can I change?”
  
  We have a whole unit in our Family Ministry course on “Knowing Your Context”, and we’d love for you to check it uot! Knowing the families you serve is a great way to show them you truly care – and to love them well!