As the parent of two young kids, I have observed how much we like to be noticed.
Throughout the course of the day, I hear the phrase “Mom! Look!” probably a hundred times (this might be a slight exaggeration… but honestly, not much!).
When they accomplish something great, like building a giant Lego tower, do something goofy, like put on a funny outfit, or get into mischief, they want someone to notice!
While we don’t usually yell “Look at me!” as we get older, all of us still have a desire to be known and noticed.
In our families, friendships, and in our church communities, we want to know that someone sees us – that we matter.
I am a firm believer that one of the most important things we can do as ministry leaders is to show families that they are important – that we see them.
Sure, what we do on Sundays counts – discipleship is essential.
But, the most effective discipleship happens when people know that they matter to us.
I am always intrigued that when Jesus chose language to describe His own ministry (and the ministry of those who would lead the church!), he chose the language of a shepherd.
Paul, picking up this language, says this to a crowd in Acts 20:
Keep watch over yourselves and all the flock of which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers. Be shepherds of the church of God, which he bought with his own blood.
Acts 20: 28
This language of shepherd means that:
- We care about those God has entrusted to us!
- We warn them about dangers.
- We guide them in the right direction.
Sometimes, as family ministry leaders, we can be really good at the last two things on that list – guarding families against the dangers of our culture, and guiding them towards Christ, but forget that in the midst of it all, our job is to care about them and show them they are valued.
So, how can you do it this week?
How can you show the families that you serve that they are important, that they matter – to you and to Jesus?
It’s going to be unique to your context, but let me encourage you – little things go a long way! Here are some quick ideas:
- Encourage older families in your church to “Adopt-a-Family” to let them know they are significant! If you need some help with that idea, we can help with our Adopt-A-Family kit.
- Switch gears from judging families who are too “busy” to attend your programs to empathizing. Take time to listen to them, reach out & hear their stories, and meet them where they are.
- When families in your ministry are going through a tough time (sickness, family struggles or even just a hard week!), reach out. This may take intentional discipline at first, but I guarantee as you do this, the Holy Spirit will grow love and care in your heart.
- Get to know what families in your church like – and provide it. Do your preteens love popcorn? Serve it as a snack! Do the parents in your church love flavoured creamers? Add them to your church’s coffee bar! Have big sports fans? Don’t plan your next event while the big game is on! This shows families you see them and they matter.
- Work with the families you serve, not against them! Sometimes, our mentality is that families will just have to “work” to attend church and our programs, no matter what time they’re at. Consider changing your mentality to work with families and their lives. You can’t make everyone happy – but do you have mostly preschoolers in your church? Consider shifting the time of your program to be earlier in the evening or hosting a mid-day playgroup!
Whatever you do, I encourage you to ask God to cultivate the heart of a shepherd in you this week.
As you open yourself up to the Holy Spirit, God can work to grow care, love and compassion for the people you serve in your hearts. As that happens, you will spill over with care, compassion and love that comes straight from the Good Shepherd’s heart!