We live in a beautiful, diverse world.
I believe God created it to be that way.
However, because of sin and the hardness of human hearts, diversity is often seen as something to be feared, erased or mocked.
The reality of racism, prejudice and stereotypes continue to be very present in our world.
Despite the many steps we’ve made forward, stories appear in our newsfeeds and on our television screens daily about how mistreatment, racism, and violence find their way into our schools, workplaces and communities.
This is the world that we are trying to navigate with our families.
So, how do we do it?
How do we talk about differences and diversity in an appropriate and respectful way?
How do we teach our kids to celebrate the creativity of our God?
How do we teach our kids about diversity & differences?
First things first, this conversation cannot be a one-time event.
Acknowledging diversity, speaking against prejudice or mistreatment, and answering questions cannot just happen once, and then never be spoken of again.
Our kids learn from the way we speak about, act around and interact with people who are different than us.
This conversation is one that needs to be woven into the fabric of our families – even when it makes us uncomfortable or stretches us.
With that in mind, here are some tips on starting the conversation.
Learn to listen.
As you start this conversation with your family, take the time to listen to voices speaking on issues of race and diversity.
Read books, follow social media accounts and do research so that you can hear about the issues that are important, and how to address them with your kids.
Listen to voices that are committed to building bridges and making a change.
Encourage curiosity and questions in appropriate settings.
Sometimes, we think silence = respect.
Unfortunately, that is not always the case.
If a child never hears diversity and differences discussed, they won’t know what to think.
If they don’t hear YOU talking about it or talk to YOU about it, they will get their views about differences from somewhere.
While those views may be healthy, there are many in our world today who talk inappropriately and mistreat those who are different. You don’t want your child to take cues about differences from them.
So, let your kids ask questions.
If you see someone who looks different than you the next time you’re in the store, don’t SHUSH your child. Don’t reprimand them for asking a question or pointing out a difference.
Explain that God made people differently, or that people who come from different places look different!
Depending on your child’s age, use those questions as a launching pad for a deep-dive into a book, video or conversation about a particular country, racial group or culture.
Curiosity about what is different than us is natural. Don’t discourage that curiosity.
Instead, use it as an opportunity to celebrate the diversity in the world around us.
Of course, curiosity and asking questions doesn’t mean rudeness is okay. If you notice your child making rude remarks or making fun of those who are different, that behaviour must be stopped.
While curiosity is a natural, acceptable behaviour, rudeness and meanness
are not.
Model acceptance and diversity in your lives.
If we want our kids to be loving, accepting members of our society, we need to model acceptance and display diversity in our lives.
Kids learn not only from the words we speak, but the actions we model.
If kids never see someone who looks or acts different than them, they will hear the message that everyone is like me.
For some of us, practising acceptance and embracing diversity may happen more easily.
You may be part of a community, live in a town, or attend a church where multi-culturalism is woven into the fabric. Your job then, is simply to let your child see the many differences that exist.
Build relationships with those who are different than you. Visit different parts of your community. Ask questions and learn from your friends and acquaintances about their culture and background.
If you’re like me, and you live in a small town, embracing diversity in the life of your family will take a little more work.
Expose your kids to differences through the books you read and the media you consume.
Buy books that feature characters of different backgrounds.
Watch TV shows where the cast isn’t all white.
When you travel, be sure to visit places where the culture is different than the place you live and celebrate it!
Regardless of where you live, your kids will adopt the attitudes you have about those who are different.
So if you avoid eye contact with people who look different than you do – guess what? Your kids probably will too.
If you remark on the “weirdness” or “smelliness” or make a sly joke when you visit another part of town, try a different food or travel to a different country, guess what? Your kids will probably feel the same way!
Acknowledge your privilege (if it exists).
Even as I write this piece, I am acutely aware that there are many families who don’t have the luxury of deciding if and when to have this conversation.
If your family is part of a racial minority, conversations about race won’t be optional for you.
In recent years, the term “white privilege” has become increasingly common.
Put simply, white privilege refers to the fact that people with white skin have advantages in society that other people do not.
I am often not aware of the privilege that I have, simply because of the color of my skin.
Because I have privilege, I also have responsibility.
I have a responsibility to choose:
- NOT to be complicit to the systems that have created this privilege
- To lean in and listen to the voices of those who don’t have this privilege
- To fight for and alongside those who are not as privileged as I am.
- To make sure my children are aware of this privilege, and the responsibility it holds for them.
Kids learn from what they see, hear and what they are taught.
We have the privilege to raise a generation that loves deeply, celebrates difference and models the world God intended for us to have.
That means not shying away from the tough conversations, but going all-in: asking the questions, celebrating differences and loving deeply.
Resources I Recommend
- Latasha Morrison & her work at Be the Bridge
- “Why You Need to Talk about Race with Your Kids” Podcast
- “How To Talk About Race with Your Kids” at Christianity Today
- “Diversity: How to Help Kids See Themselves & Others” from American Bible Society
- “How To Talk To Kids About Ethnicity” by Risen Motherhood
- “God Made Me & You” by Shai Linne
- “God’s Very Good Idea” by Trillia Newbell
For a PDF of this article, social media images, discussion questions and an extensive list of recommended resources, check out the Talking about Things That Matter Bundle in the shop!
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